Half a year and Counting.

Time. As runners, we're always chasing it to get PR. As human, we're always chasing it to get more out of it, as a species, we're obsessed with stopping it or reversing it. It's an ever flowing river that flows through our life, etching our life stories into our soul. A master painter with nary a care of anything.

How do we then respond to what has been etched and painted in the canvas of our soul? Some people fight it, others ignore it. The wise look at it, and appreciate it in its entirety. Personally I always feel that it's a good thing to learn from our pass with all the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.

It has been about 3 months since my post on Positive Changes and more than 6 months since all these begin. So, what have I learned and achieved during this pass half a year?

1. I've picked up running and completed my first race, a 5K run. I've also signed up for Brooks Half Marathon 2013 10K run. All this even when the friend that got me started on it has left to go back to his own country.
2. I've continued to stay off nicotine and no longer have the urge to light up. Passive smoking still get to me so I do my best to stay far away from smokers all the time.
3. I've learned to eat healthier. Wonder how many of you out there actually do look at the Nutritional Values as well as the Ingredients when you do your groceries. I still indulge in some of my favorite food but have cut down on them by quite a lot. Running has also caused me to be intolerant of high fat content, of which I used to love, so there goes the braised pork belly. :'(
4. My perspective on running has changed. Instead of looking at it as a challenge, I now enjoy my personal runs. Its a time where there's nothing else but you and the road ahead. It gives me a very calming effect where I can just let go of everything and run, without a care of what bothers me deep down inside. Running with friends are always enjoyable of course.
5. I'm no longer as impulsive as before but still as impatient. But I can see myself getting better in that as I  work on my runs, I learn to be more tolerant and patient as the day goes by.
6. I've learned to be more positive on things. Every cloud has it's silver linings, and everything that happens have its reason. Even though I still do not understand why life has dealt me this card, I will continue to live my life going forward, taking baby steps and adjusting as need be.
7. Running has brought me back to some old friends and introduced new ones to me. To my old buddies out there who knows my story. Thank you so much for your support through this pass  half a year. To the new friends, may your feet be fleet and flawless and may we continue to enjoy our runs for another 1000 years ;).

What's my plan for the future? Not too sure as yet. There's still the divorce to settle, not to mention my own life to settle as well.Time, in it's other form will also sweep away the hurt that you've experienced. It will not remove all the hurt, but only the sharpness of the pain. In its wisdom, it will leave behind a dull ache so that we will always be reminded of our folly so we may learn from it.

Truth be told, this month has been a very hard month for me. It's a time of joyous celebration and yet, I could not find that joy in me, nor any cause for celebration. I still find it uncomfortable to join any family gathering or any large celebration, as such, I really have no clue on what to do this Christmas.

Oh well, bad comes to worse, I'll always have the road and my shoes for company.

p.s. Sorry for the depressing post. I need to get this out of my system.